Four days ago life morphed within the space of a few hours. The healthy, vibrant and aged person who had brought me into this world went from mild discomfort of an apparent flu or intestinal irritation to full blown jaundice and a terminal diagnosis. None of which were foreshadowed by years of doctors visits and the requisite and routine tests.
The pain, confusion and roller coaster like events left all of us stunned and grasping at answers. This combined with the initial period of incoherent thought left us unable to discuss the matter with the one so affected.
Suddenly, based on mere scraps of information that were taken in often without known points of reference, life changing decisions were being made. Decisions that once made will ripple through all of our lives and the lives of those around us.
The weight of the moment was upon us and the choice to turn irrevocably to the right or left. Decisions that could not be easily undone, decisions that bore children and grandchildren each demanding attention, each a new choice and we wondered how far this rabbit hole would go?
Surrounded by bells, buttons, tubes, wires and other medical paraphernalia she lays in the bed afraid to turn fearing the loud bell that would herald any movement or shift in her position The pain that radiates up her back and through her body is nearly unbearable and the fear of the alarms noisy, raucous announcement of any movement she might make was also nearly unbearable. Bringing her to tears and cries of despair anytime she failed to keep her new masters of pain and fear satisfied.
We disconnect the alarms and comfort her as best we can. Gentle words, soft touches, holding, calming, reassuring. Then with fears calmed, and reassurances lovingly given, pain medications were administered and sleep … quiet, restful sleep came and greeted the tired soul.
It must have been difficult to write this post. And more difficult to face such trauma in the space of a few days. I pray that the Lord will truly be an ever-present help during these times, for you and your entire family.
Linda
@absolutegrace : Thank you. Yes and a new understanding of who and what people are.